I'm finally ready

Photo taken by Lois Xenakis in Chios, Greece

I remember walking by the water in Greece this fall. I was trying to find the peace and joy I had lost. I would sit by the rocks and just look at the open sea and ask for calm and a feeling of peace to be returned to me. I came home in the winter and decided it was time to let this all go. This pain and unhappiness had been holding on to me for far too long.

I do hope all this soreness will relieve me of all the pain and the feeling of begin lost. It has been with me for three years. I just couldn't move forward. It was like I was in a deep hole and I couldn't get out. Maybe I didn't want to get out. Maybe it was easier just staying there and feeling sorry for myself. I was always a strong and positive person, so this was very new to me.

I think there was a part of me that just gave up and just accepted what that nasty disease had done to me. Not only did it take one of my breasts, it took part of my spirit and I didn't know how to get it back. I needed to shake this negative crap off of me or I would lose myself completely .

I was saying all the right words to everyone, not sure I really believe them, I knew it was going to be hard. I thought I believed there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I just didn't know there would be so many detours in the road. It was as I’m driving through, they decided to redo the road. That was not cool at all.

I had started the reconstruction after the Mastectomy and it was done very badly. I put everything else on hold. I made the choice to have it re-done and re-size the other one. I wonder how women can go through this. Why because they want stronger, stand up and salute breasts? All I want are two the same size if possible, really.

It hurts like a B and I have two drainage tubes, one on each breast. It is so hard to get up from the bed. I feel like a 90 year old woman. I sleep on my back when I do sleep, which I hate. For the first time I feel like I’m taking my life back. I’m sore as hell, but there is a calmer feeling in me that I have not had in a long time.

I have never liked the word “Survivor.” I have always used the word, “I Won.” Well I have “Won” my battle finally. Here's to Taking a new path, coming soon.

Photo of and taken by Lois Xenakis

St. Patrick's Day

Photo credit: History of St. Patrick’s Day (www.history.com)

What a wonderful day to be in New York
You got to enjoy a wonderful parade.
It's St Patrick Day in New York and we know
how the have a parade!
It is said we host the largest parade in the world.
Let's just enjoy and be happy people!
Hope you are wearing your green today.
Make sure you enjoy a nice cold beer!

Enjoy here

Saving Eliza

Photograph of book taken by Simos Xenakis

Eliza is a lovely little girl who has been touched by a very nasty disease called Sanfilippo Syndrome. Sanfilippo is a rare genetic condition that causes fatal brain damage. It is referred to as a childhood disease because most patients never reach adulthood. At present, there is no cure for this devastating disease.

Eliza was featured in a 3 minute video made by visual artist, Benjamin Van Wong, for the Saving Eliza campaign. The video touched everyone's hearts and raised over one million dollars for the cause.

Benjamin teamed up with photographer, Ivan Makarov, who created the third edition of Plus One Collection. Plus One is an annual coffee table book featuring photographers from all over the world with proceeds of sales going to various causes. I was so happy when I learned that my son, Simos Xenakis', photo would be a part of this wonderful cause. This is his second time being featured in the book, which is filled with so many amazing images. It's a great way for these photographers to get exposure, but it's a bigger blessing to be a part of any wonderful cause that helps.

You can click here for more information on this year's book project.

Photograph of book taken by Simos Xenakis

Boy was I wrong

NBC News Photo

Boy was I wrong.

We are driving home and see a number of police cars and two channel 4 news van a few blocks from our home. My first thoughts is, "Car Accident." So I put it in my mind to watch their news that night. The news shows the Verrazano Bridge having a car chase. It starts in New Jersey. U.S. Marshals chasing a man that they had gone to arrest. They then had the New Jersey State police take over.  At some point the car chase was in New York. So Staten Island  police were next in line to take over.

The police reach out to the Port Authority Police (MTA) and ask to have the bridge and highway closed into Brooklyn. They had the bridge all to themselves. He was finally caught in Brooklyn by MTA police and Brooklyn police. The crazy things people do to get away from the police. That was a mad crazy car chase.

Whole story here.